Two Seasons & Ma's Diner
"...Are you dumb all day long or does it wear off after breakfast..?"
Welcome to the Town of East Puddleduck, Maine, which many unique residents call home. Each with their individual eccentricities, there are several that stand out along with the main character of Wilomena Farnsworth.
An opinionated, cantankerous, and ornery old woman that everyone calls 'Ma'.
The town itself is situated in the northernmost point of Maine just before the Canadian border. A cul-de-sac and as some would say, "An island without any water." The one road in (and back out) takes you underneath Ma's "unwelcoming" sign and leads you to the tiny village where you'll pass by the aging municipal hall. Inside, you'll most likely find the mayor lounging about with his two selectpersons agreeing to everything he says. Smirnoff's General Store is across from Ruby Red's Beauty Parlor and just down the road from MkIntyre's Gas Station and Used Car Emporium. All just before you arrive at Ma's Diner, nearest the end of the Main Road.
Please take a moment and meet a few of the residents below.
* Book cover artwork and character sketches performed by the author *
Ma's up to her old tricks again, getting herself and others in trouble in the 3rd installment of the Two Seasons series!!!
I need a break from everything; so I'm going to East Puddleduck where I can count on Ma for stability and have life's priorities put in proper order. I find your writing to be excellent, the stories fun and the flavor of style is in keeping of what one would expect of true Americana Folk Lore. I see Ma taking her place along side Paul Bunyan, Tom Sawyer and Davy Crocket.
- Jay Alden Bailey, Author, Mudflap Series
I absolutely loved this book! The writing was superb! While I was reading the book I could actually visualize the characters. The happenings in that town was great! Loved every page of it! I would love to see more like this.
Reader Review, Two Seasons
October 6, 2023
I am so glad that David wrote a continuation of Two Seasons. It was great!! What a hoot it was to read of their adventures on the cruise. I laughed a lot while reading this one. Thank you again David and I hope we get to read more stories of Ma and the gang.
Reader Review, Ma's Diner
October 6, 2023
Author - Vermont Seasonings
December 14, 2023
I loved reading Two Seasons and Wilson’s witty irony that flows along like the Androscoggin River. His style reminds me of Howard Mosher, whose last and best book, Points North tells a lengthy saga of a family who came from the West into Vermont. Wilson’s saga is about a family in rural northern Maine, who ended up there through an unusual twist of fate, one of many that happens to them in this story.
Wilson gives us a clear backstory and a detailed description of his well-developed characters that prepare us for the fast-moving chronicle of the inhabitants of the magical mythical town of East Puddleduck. The reader is swept along in the current of hilarious tales with no wasted words whatsoever and not one chance of getting bored. This is not a book that you would set aside for long as you really must know what happens next.
The main character, Ma Farnsworth is a strong though strange woman who owns and runs a diner and never backs down, a trait which draws her into one wild adventure after another. This is real backwoods Maine, where certain modern conveniences are lacking, which can easily set someone up to be sitting in the outhouse and having a huge moose pop it’s head in through the hole in the back wall.
Fishing, boating and ice fishing are great scenarios for dangerous situations like having a giant pickerel biting you in the backside, or a bull moose wading out into Pug Pond and grabbing a fish before Ma or her husband Elmer can catch one.
Hunting moose could cause someone to get lost in the deep woods, and be followed home by a friendly but hungry bear who enjoys hanging around town for a while.
The townspeople of East Puddleduck find plenty to do, with their own Town Fair creating an uproar of jealousy over whose farm animal is the best, leading to a chicken fight and a roll in the pig sty. Then there is the great pigeon hunt that comes about because of an infestation of rare, protected pigeons causing a mess on every surface of the town.
The town politics and town elections are full of the stories we hear a lot about from folks who grew up in the rural northeast, when town meetings were a lot of talk, complaints and arguments, with almost nothing getting accomplished. I won’t even try to explain what happens to foreigners from out of state who think they can speed through town ignoring Ma Farnsworth’s signs.
I guarantee that visitors to East Puddleduck will be looking forward to the sequel when they can learn what’s going on now in the woods or at the diner.
The Cast of Characters
Wilomena 'Ma' Farnsworth
Elmer 'El' Miller
Ma is the matriarch of East Puddleduck. She's an ornery, cantankerous, and opinionated older lady that owns and operates the local diner, 'Ma's Diner'. She's married to Elmer 'El' Farnsworth, her much quieter and more level-headed other half.
Ma's overly protective of the townsfolk and doesn't mind telling them how to live, act and breathe around her. Underneath it all, she has a heart of gold and would do anything for any one of them...although she complains about it all the while.
Bob Johnson and his wife, Mable
Constable Bob is the one and only police officer for both the towns of East Puddleduck and the neighboring town of Skunksquirt. Bob keeps the peace while eating most, if not all of his meals, at Ma's Diner, and he considers himself to be one of Ma's favorite patrons. However, she'd most likely argue this fact.
Mable Johnson, Bob's better half and one of the town gossips, works occasionally for Ma at the diner.
Rupert and Eleanor Wiggleswort
Rupert is the town's mayor and considers himself the top decision-maker, even though Ma always has the last say. Rupert can usually be found in his tiny little office within the aging municipal building along with his two selectpersons if he's not in the diner eating a good meal and taking verbal abuse from Ma.
Eleanor, his boisterous wife, spends her time providing Rupert with the answers that the townsfolk want to hear when it comes to decision-making. That is when she's not having the gray taken out of her hair at Ruby's Salon.
Jacob and Valerie Daley
Jacob is one of the two selectpersons to the mayor while his better half, 'Val', is one of Ma's most trusted managers and can usually be found working alongside her in the diner.
Paul and Matilda Doody
Paul makes up the other bookend to the mayor. His outspoken wife, Mattie, is Ma's nemesis. Consistently in competition with each other, Mattie has no problem providing her thoughts and opinions, which is quite often.
Cicely and Smirnoff....umm...Smirnoff
(The truth is, no one can pronounce his first name).
Cicely owns and operates the one little general store in East Puddleduck along with her husband, Smirnoff.
Cicely watches out for Ma and works in the diner when business is slow at the store, leaving her husband to operate the family business during these times.
Smirnoff enjoys poking fun at Ma by speaking in his native tongue, which Ma doesn't understand. In reality, Smirnoff also watches out for the old woman even though she appears to be pretty mean to him at times. But then again, she can be pretty mean to everyone.
Puut (pronounced Pu'ut) Voisine
Puut is our resident survivalist. He lives off-grid, even in a rural town such as East Puddleduck. He does eat at Ma's Diner quite often, however, it's believed this is primarily to spend time annoying the owner.
Ruby 'Red' Mayflower
Our resident beautician, her shop is gossip central. A lovely lady who acts a bit younger than her actual age. With bright red hair, she's every man's, especially Puut's, dream lady. However, don't try catcalling her, or she may just lay you out, and rightfully so. And it might just be Ma that lays you out, as she doesn't allow anyone to disrespect Ruby, other than herself.
Old Marmaduke is arguably East Puddleduck's oldest resident and by far the wisest. When an answer can't be found by asking either Ma or the mayor, Old Marmaduke is sought out for his logic and guidance.
Marmaduke's Canadian heritage shows in his heavy French accent and he proudly lives in his old ramshackle house, and can usually be found sitting on his front porch watching cars, and life, go by if he's not enjoying a meal at Ma's.
Old Marmaduke is a wise, old soul and, for the most part, highly respected by Ma and the other townsfolk.
Runyon is the only grown child of Ma and Elmer. A hard-working man in his early-mid thirties, he's the town's handyman. If there's a job that needs completing, and he's not out hunting or fishing with his buddy, Puut, Runyon's the person to call.
Joshua and Wally McIntyre
The twins, who look nothing like each other, own and operate the local service station and used car lot. The naive, however trustworthy boys are hard working and watched over closely by Ma, who makes certain they behave at all times.
Percible Winkin is East Puddleduck's spiritual advisor. With an air of pompousness about him, he provides a Sunday service that many of the town's residents attend each week. You may want to listen closely, though, as you might just hear a few quotes that aren't exactly taken from the good book, as Percible is an avid movie buff and he likes to quote film all too often.
Myrtle Watson is the older sister of the mayor. A divorcee, she doesn't mind giving poor marriage advice to anyone who hasn't asked for it. The leader of the church's children's choir, and the one and only town clerk, is undoubtedly the biggest gossip in town.
Boris, Fluffbut, and the Bear
Ma's dog, cat, and the bear
Character Sketches & Artwork
Pencil sketch of Ma in familiar headgear from both Two Seasons and Ma's Diner
Pencil sketch of Ma and her least favorite animal from a chapter in Two Seasons
Pencil sketch of Ma driving the old Chevy and yelling at someone
Pencil sketch of Constable Bob Johnson
Pencil sketch of Ma and 'the bear' that appears in both Two Seasons and Ma's Diner
Pencil sketch of Ma for Ma's Diner
The original pencil sketch of Ma
Pencil sketch of Puut Voisine and Ruby Red
Pencil sketch of Ma and Elmer depicting a scene from a chapter in Two Seasons
Acrylic on canvas of Ma's Diner, Bob's cruiser (complete with his hand-painted lettering), Ma's truck, and the bear. New cover design for 'Ma's Diner'
The cover design for 'Two Seasons' is a wood-burning on a plain, old cedar shingle.
The original cover design for 'Ma's Diner' is a wood-burning on a piece of pine board.